BattlePens, written in red and blue biro on a torn scrap of exercise book paper

the game you played on the back page,
when you were meant to be doing maths

Hold a thumb on it. Wait. Then slide. The pen squirts off across the paper and leaves a line — and that line is both your move and your shot. If it goes through one of theirs, that one's finished.

That's the whole game, and it's the same one you played at the back of the classroom with a biro and whatever paper was going. Nothing has been tidied up. The pen still curves off where it feels like it. You still hang on to it too long and waste a go. And every line you draw stays on the page, so by the end the sheet is a proper mess and you can see exactly how it happened.

Three of them

Three hand-drawn panels in blue biro: Land with a tank, Sea with a ship, Air with a fighter
same rules, different scribbles

Ships between the islands, tanks between the copses, or Spitfires in open sky. Three vehicles each and two guns dug in on your line. Knock out everything they've got and the sheet is yours.

How you play it

  1. Hold a thumb on one of your vehicles, or on a gun, and keep it still while the pen loads.
  2. Slide your thumb a short way — that shove is the flick.
  3. The pen shoots off the opposite way to your slide.

How long you held it is the power. Let go too soon and you get a weak scuff. Hold on too long and the nib bites the paper and the go is wasted. Somewhere in between is a proper flick, and where it actually ends up is anybody's guess. That's rather the point.

The front half of a vehicle is its gun, the back half drives it — and a go is one or the other. Driving into one of theirs stops you dead; it takes a shot to knock them out.

Play the computer on your own, or pass the phone across the desk and play a real person. Quietly. ✌

The whole thing is free, and it always will be. There are no adverts in it and nothing to buy — if you end up enjoying it, there's a coffee button on the notes inside the game.

Get it

The BattlePens app icon
Get it on Google Play

Android. Free — all of it, no adverts, nothing to buy.